KHUD KO MAT SAMETNA KABHI

Usnay kabhi kaha tha kay khud ko jab samet logay aur manzil-e-maqsood tak pohonch jaogay tu baat karna, us wakt jab tum samjho kay tum nay zindagi kay atwaar seekh liye hain tab mujh say raabtay bahaal karna. Mainey usi raat ye thaan li thi kay jesa wu chahti hai wesa ban kar dikhaunga usay, meri izzat-e-nafs majrooh hutay huwe mehsus hunay lagi thi mujhey. Buhut koshish kay bawajood meray andar anna ki aag si lagnay lagi thi per main usay rok na paya. Phir na din dekha na raat, isi kashmakash main kay hasil karlunga usay main hamesha kay liye, main mehnat karta raha. Na theek say so paya tha main na ye ehsaas raha tha kay kab sooraj apni roshni say is dharti ko roashan karta hai aur kab yehi roshan dharti raat kay veeran andheron main kho kar so jaati hai. Main lagataar mehnat karta raha. Zindagi main aik maur phir aesa bhi aaya, jab ye mehsus hunay laga kay khud ko samet liya hai mainey, zindagi guzaarnay kay dhang seekh chuka hun. Bas phir kya tha, nikal para uski talaash main, socha tha usay mil kar ye bataunga kay dekho tum nay mujhey kahan la khara kiya, tum nay kaha tha kay samet lu apni hasti ko, lu aaj aik mazboot insaan hun, khud ko samet kar jeena seekh rakha hai mainey. Per wu na mili, buhut dhunda usay, thak gaya per talaash tark na ki mainey. Din saalon main badaltay rahay, aur main dhundta raha usay, per shayed ab hamara milna muhaal tha, koi maujza huta ya khuda ki jaanib say takdeer main likh chukka huta tu shayed hum mil patay per meri barson ki talaash raiga chali gaye.
Aaj barson baad chaltay chaltay thakan mehsus huwe, tu chaye ka aik cup peenay kay liye aik restaurant kay samnay ruk gaya, achanak aik awaaz meri sama’aton ko chuti huwee dil tak pohonchi tu dil nay dimaagh ko keh bheja kay ye tu wuhi hai jiski talaash tumhain barson say rahi hai. Mainey palat kar apni peechay dekha tu aankhain dang reh gayee, jism jesay bejaan sa hu gaya. Kadam khud ba khud uski jaanib barhnay lagay, wakt nay aik baar phir humain aamnay samnay la khara kiya tha. Uskay chehray e badaltay huwe rang dekh sakta tha main, uskay labon per halki si muskurahat thi aur ajnabiyat bhi thi shayed. Haan ye baat sach thi kay, aaj usay youn samnay khara dekh kar main phir say bikhar gaya tha, wu saray taur tareeqay sab bhool gaya tha. Lekin is baar unsay kuch na kaha, wu chup rahi aur chal di. Meri talaash khatam huwe, mujhey mera jawab mil gaya. Aur main aik baar phir say bhikrey huwe wajud ko sametnay main lag gaya.

HAAN - AKELA REH GAYA HUN AB SHAYED

Dil veeran hunay lagay tu pura wajud bikharnay lagta hai. Jeenay kay liye zaruri hai kay bikhray huwe wajud ko har baar samet lena chahiye. Mudat’ton baad aaj phir say ye ehsaas hunay laga hai kay mairay atraaf main ju beshumaar hastey kheltay chehray rehtay thay, yak-e-baadeegrey ab nazron say ojhal hutay ja rahay hain.  Main ab apnay aas paas pheli khamoshi ko sun sakta hun. Wu guzra huwa wakt yaad karta hun kay jab yaaron ko chalay janay ya akela chor denay ko keh deta tha. Dost bhi kitnay ajeeb hute hain, mairay baar baar israar karnay per bhi tanha nah chortay thay, shayed tab main unkay liye koi mautbar shaks tha. Aaj ye maamla kay tanhayee bhi meri baat sun’nay ki rawadaar nahin. Ab tu aksar ye mehsus huta hai kay ye khamoshi ka shor meri samaaton ki ronak na cheen ley kahin.

Waqt wohi acha tha jab main kisi kay liye koi hesiyat rakhta tha, jab shayed meri zarurat bhi thi kisi shaks ko, koi meri zindagi ka hissa ban’na chahta tha, lekin tab mujhe hosh hi kahan tha, majburiyon kay chat kay neechay apni zindagi kay din kaat raha tha. Haalat aaj bhi kuch alag tu nahin lekin, ab zarurat mujhey hai. Zimedaariyon ko pura kartey kartey ab thakan mehsus karnay laga hai wajud. Ab zarurat hai mujhey. Aik sath ki, aik be-laous sath ki. Kehna chahta hun ab main dil ki har baat, per na-janay kyun har baar ye tanhayee aaray aajaati hai.