Main aksar ye sochta hu kay kaash mainey na kaha huta usay kay ‘mujhey tum say muhabbat hai’, tu shayed aaj hum sath hutey, par main bhi kya karta, majboori main keh dala sab kuch usay, aur ye bhi na socha kay us per kya guzray gi, magar phir kehna bhi tu zaruri tha, aur agar na kehta tu umr bhar apni khuwahishaat say larta rehta, mera nafs, mera dil, mera wajud mujhey bar bar ye yad dilatay rehtay hain kay, main adhora hun, mairay khayalon main basa shayed aaj bhi wu hai, kitnay baras beet gaye, kitney mausam guzar gaye per aaj bhi mairi soch ka mehwar hai wu shaks.
Main aksar ye sochta hun kay kyun wu shaks youn mairi zindagi say alag huwa kay phir na lauta kabhi. Kya usay mairi muhabbat per bharosa na tha, yan wu khud buhut kamzor tha kay muhabbat jaisay is mazboot rishtay ko nibaha na sakta tha? Kyun achanak wu mujh say juda huwa aur phir maazi ka hissa bana dala unsay apnay aap ko, aaj jab bhi main un gaye dinno ko dekhta hun, tu kuch aks puranay mairi aankhon kay samnay namudaar hutey hain, main tu shayed in buhut say chehron ko pehchan bhi nai pata, per han itna zarur janta hun kay inhi chehron main koi aik chehra jana pehchana zarur hai, kay jaisay usay kisi khaas nazar nay mehfuz apni zaat main kiya hu kabhi.
Main aksar ye bhi sochta hun kay kya dhundhnay say mil jati hai khoye huwe cheez, han shayed mil jaati hai gar khuda chahay, par mairay jism main jahan tak jan rahi main dhundta raha usay, wu shaks na mila kabhi, par han kissi nay kya khoob kaha, kay dhundnay say tu khuda bhi mil jata hai. Buhut baar mila khuda, har baar sajday main gir gaya, mera ang ang us rab-ul-izzat ka karz daar raha, aur phir ye huwa kay nam huwee aankhain, taqdeer nay likhat parat chor di shayed, main baitha raha raat bhar, suraj namudaar huwa phir tu jana kay talaash main uski buhut dur nikal aya main, laut kaisay jaaon is soch main gum tha wajud maira.
Main aksar ye sochta hun kay aakhir usay talaash kis ki thi, kaun tha un aankhon main basa huwa? Wu aankhain aakhir kis kay intezar main berang huwe jaati thin?
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.